Imagine that two people once together are now sitting on opposite sides of the couch. They have hit a rough patch, and they need help. Free couples counseling can be life-saving. But why does it work? Here are some of the most effective strategies you can use.
First, communication is the key. Never has a problem been solved by keeping it quiet. Most couples believe that their partner will “know” how they feel or think. Spoiler Alert: They don’t. Open communication is not easy, but essential.
Active listening can also be a game changer. Listening to your partner without preparing your rebuttal is not the same as nodding. You’re like a player in a match of tennis who actually watches the ball rather than just swinging wildly.
You’ve probably heard about “I” statements. These are invaluable in counseling sessions. Try saying “I don’t feel heard when we speak” instead of, “You are never listening to me.” It will shift the focus to feelings rather than blame.
Compromise is another art. Relationships can’t be 50/50. Sometimes they are 80/20 or 60/40, depending on how life is going. Understanding how to meet half-way, or even three-quarters of the way is crucial.
One couple that I know swears their weekly check-ins. Every Sunday, they chat and discuss how their lives are going. What worked this week and what did NOT work. The idea may seem cheesy to some, but whatever you want!
We shouldn’t ignore professional guidance. Therapists can bring a fresh perspective to issues that the partners might not be able to see clearly. Like relationship detectives, they have the ability to spot clues in plain view.
Therapy isn’t only about talking about problems. It’s about taking action and doing exercises outside of sessions to strengthen relationships. Think of homework assignments, but make them more fun – like date nights that have a purpose!
Without trust, you will be building on sand. Although it is difficult to restore trust that has been broken, both parties must work together.
When verbal communication ceased, a friend of mine told me they began writing to each other. These letters provided a safe place for people to express themselves without fear of being judged.
It is important to not underestimate the power of humor in repairing fences. A shared sense of humor can reduce tension more quickly than any serious discussion.
The key to success is patience! Rome was not constructed in a day, and neither is a rock-solid relationship restored overnight. Both require time, goodwill, and effort from both parties.
You now have a variety of strategies you can use to smooth out those rough roads. These tips may be exactly what you need if you’re having a disagreement or just want to strengthen your relationship.